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Apr. 25th, 2014

Bathed in Shadows

It has been two years

Hello loves,

It's been two years since my last post. Is anyone still around?

A friend asked if I still had this, and I became curious and returned. I may use this place to journal again.

Hugs and kisses all,


Jan. 20th, 2012


Writer's Block: State of the Union

Who do you think would make a great U.S. president?
I am hoping for Ron Paul to win the GOP primary. I like that his view of the government is so hands off. Governments should not control everything and ours is becoming much more involved and regulatory of everything.

Now, for the record, yes I believe that there are so regulations that are required and needed. However, especially since Obama took office, the government has their fingers in everything. I want to see us scale back both domestically and internationally.

Countries rise and fall.

Egypt was the ruling nation for some time, look at Alexander the Conqueror, look at France, Spain, England. They rose as the most powerful nation and they fell after their time was through. The USA is no different. China and India are rapidly rising. We will not always be able to control events or have our hands in everyone else's cookie jar. We are sending billions of dollars into other countries' pockets while our people at home are starving, are homeless, are working multiple jobs at minimum wage.

Ron Paul is the only man who is for a small government, for freedom.

Nov. 16th, 2011


You can be my hero

This is stunning.... I may have cried.

I spent two years studying sign language in highschool. I had considered becoming an interpreter. There is something inherently expressive in sign language that isn't elsewhere.

Nov. 2nd, 2011


Writer's Block: Secret love

Have you ever had a secret admirer? What happened?
My admirers were all silent until I became an adult. Suddenly, when we meet up again after years of absence and they find out that I'm married now, they feel okay to tell me that they adored me years ago. Unfortunately I never got the experience the 'flowers for you! Love, your secret admirer' thing.

To find out so much later, that these guys liked me is an ego boost. I thought myself to be quite unlikable!

Sep. 5th, 2011


I've had this song stuck in my head all weekend long.

I was at a concert (Pop Evil) and between band set up, the bar played some music videos over and over again. This was one of them.

And I think I'm in love.

Maps (yeah yeah yeahs) is playing in my mind over and over again.

Aug. 20th, 2011


Random thoughts:

I am extraordinarily sleepy after today. Work was nuts, I had to bring Logan since my MIL got sick. (I actually feel bad for her, she sounds miserable!) And so I'm a little despondent right now. I'm watching a new Korean drama on Hulu. Korean espionage. And none of the cute little things that were there in the last few dramas I've watched (You're Beautiful, Coffee Prince and Boys Before Flowers), it's actually really good.

I wish that we had a hot tub... today feels like a day to use it. A good long naked soak sounds good right about now.

Aug. 17th, 2011


The Woman in Black

It was my freshman year. The University that I was attending that year had a developing theatre program which was growing at a massive rate. It was January. The Ex actually liked theatre so we attended at student rates often.

I saw The Woman in Black.

This is the biggest mind-fucking performance that I have ever seen. Part thriller, part horror and part art. The performers - three. The lawyer who was telling the story. The man (author I do believe) who was writing down the story and helping the man perform it. And the Woman in Black.

This play still creeps me out.

And now I see a trailer for it.

A part of me cries out 'Hallelujah! They're going to perform one of the best things I've seen on stage!' and another part of me cries 'Good gods, they're going to ruin it!'

What do you think?



Aug. 15th, 2011


Oh well...

I'm pretty sure that I didn't get the job... They said that they were to make a decision by the end of the week and I haven't gotten a call yet.

And the work drama continues, but I won't go into it any more than saying this: Due to an incompetent fool who we hired as a detailer, who was unable to do anything right the first time, I didn't get home until nearly 7. Just in time to put Logan down for bed. I saw my kid for a grand total of twenty minutes today.

And in the random section of my life: Chad's gotten me two presents, just because. hmmm... The first was sweet. It was Ghosts of Ascalon (yes, I'm a Guild Wars fan... go MMORPGs!) the new book based off of the game and GW2 (which is soon to be released). Awwww! Double points to the husband! The second is a Conaire hair removal... thingy. Nothing says 'I love you!' like hair removal items. I tried it tonight and it's pretty much sandpaper. I'll give it another try later, but round one doesn't make it too promising. :)

And Logan is growing up so very much... I miss spending every day with him!

How's life in your neck of the woods?

Aug. 9th, 2011


Gender Bias

When I was young I was a tom boy. I climbed trees, wore my baseball cap backwards, refused to dress up and generally had a ball. I hated that boys would tell me that I 'couldn't do that!' because I was a girl, and for awhile I was seriously sad that I wasn't born a boy.

I played sports, basketball in particular, and had plans to learn how to skateboard along with the guys.

One day when I was twelve my Dad organized a game of pick up basketball with my cousins. I, of course, demanded to be included. And so we played. And so I realized that my cousins (all boys, all older than I) were much better than I and that I was making myself look like a fool. I also realized that I really didn't like sports, but I was doing it because my Dad was the coach and I wanted to prove that girls could do whatever they wanted.

So I stopped playing. I shouldn't do something just to prove a point, and especially if I didn't enjoy it.

So I stopped playing. I started to pay attention to what I did like to do. I loved to draw. I loved to write short stories (all mushy love ones). I loved to create clothes for my Barbie out of toilet paper and tape.

Now I'm 25 years old. My life is so different now. I've learned that sometimes you have to do what you dislike to put food on the table. I've learned that in life often your choices will come back to haunt you. I've learned that I don't have the option to always do what I like to do.

I envy it... the simplicity of the teen years. When your hardest challenge was finding a way to tell your dad (the coach) that you didn't like basketball and didn't want to play next year.

Life is so different now.

I reported my company for illegal activity.

Now I'm just waiting for the shoe to drop. For my little ant life to be squashed. For something to go terribly wrong. Sometimes waiting is the hardest part.

Aug. 3rd, 2011


mmm.... please?

dear sexuality - I miss you.

Please come back from wherever you've been hiding. I need some good sex. - Edit that - I need some sex that's good for me. On the two days that I actually get to see Chad I am not in the mood, or the sex is good for him, but not so much for me.

So, dear sexuality, dear Natasha, please come back. I could use a night full of crazy sex that has me shaking and completely wiped out.


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